#i will be with march EVENTUALLY but bros gonna have to go thru a lot of development first

[callie-shifts-apparently]

Fields Of Mistria DR self save me...

save me fields of mistria DR self...

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW16

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Pope and Robertson

IN: Schmeichel and Pereira

Buying two defenders from the best defense in the league seems good.

Going to hold fire on Trent after the emotions faded with the passage of a little bit of time since the pod. I still have problems, but hey, what else is new? Not owning only one Leic player like an absolute fucking idiot anymore will probably not be bad or maybe it will be bad I'm not sure. We'll see.

GK:

Schmeichel (avl)

Free at last.

Not owning Pope anymore is great feels. Schmike doesn't make saves for his fucking life but whatever. I had the money for him and since all the expensive players are shit this year I didn't feel the need to pinch pennies here.

DEF:

Kelly (wat)

Nowhere to start in defense other than Martin Kelly.

Absolute god and legend I love him so much. Get in there Martin you're the best.

Alexander-Arnold (bou)

Trent remains...whatever. Hopefully he doesn't start so I get some points off the bench.

Pereira (avl)

New friend Ricardo is in there. Don't think I've ever owned him in FPL before and don't really have a lot of feelings towards him or about him. Seems fine, whatever.

Lundstram (nor)

Pointstram has not been pointstramming lately but they still have good fixtures and he's still playing as an attacking midfielder. No issue being patient with him.

Good fixture and I don't really buy "Norwich are good again" they have looked shit by my eye getting bossed and just happened to finish their extremely small quantity of chances they have created.

MID:

De Bruyne (MUN)

Kev has the darb..not great..but at least it's at home.

Could see him picking up a return and still fine to hold him for the long term not think much about it.

Son (BUR)

Swan looking fine hopefully he starts and expecting them to boss Burnley to fuck this weekend. Already thru in UCL so hoping he just rides the horses this weekend.

Özil (whu)

Finally is Ozil.

Still hate to see him stuck on the left wing but I love him and he makes me happy so I will stand by my man in opposition of stats and reason.

FWD:

Kane (BUR)

Maybe Kane will be good tomorrow against Burnley? Who knows. Just seemed like less of a priority to turn him into Alli than doing the GK and defense moves. Could always get a brace with some lucky shit and a pen although he is on borrowed time.

Lacazette (whu)

Laca also just looks like a very bad pick. He's probably more of a problem than Kane if we're honest here, but with a good fixture I didn't really want to take a hit in a GW where we might see rotation.

Vardy (avl)

Last guy is Vardz obv. Nothing to say about that.

CAP:

Son (BUR)

Swan cap this weekend for me. If Kane out points him I'll be beside myself, so I should probably spend the rest of the night preparing for this to become my reality tomorrow.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Connolly, Salah, Gazzaniga

IN (for -4 points hit): Abraham, Alli, Ryan

The hits are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

Uhh yeah so I finally got rid of Mo and I returned to the elite Tammy and I got Alli who is great and Ryan who is great so that seems great.

I guess I should address not going for Mané and instead spreading the funds around especially as me and Pod Partner both agreed that Mané is very clearly the best mid in the game... I just don’t know what Liverpool are up to for the month of December besides picking up lots and lots of points they also will be rotating a TONNNNN as Klopp did last season and this season there are even more matches. I’m not confident in Mané starting tomorrow after playing all of the 90′s and I’m not sure who is gonna start when and who is gonna get subbed early when and long story short it makes me not think of Sadio as a cap option and so I’m like just gonna enjoy the club I support being great and fuck’em off in FPL for now... I always underrate my teams and so whatever I get to just love all of the Liverpool players and be happy when they score and not think about’em for FPL. Whatevs.

And lastly I used to think that taking a -4 for a GK transfer was diabolical, after all, you only have the chance (over one week) to nullify the hit with a clean which would be ridiculous to nail in one week so it’s dumb. But despite being the lowest scoring position in the game by far it’s also the position we blindly hold for longest stretches of time so hitting out a GK who sucks dick (Gaz) for a keeper who shits bonus points on a team I love (Ryan) is actually very obvious... Brighton have good fixtures basically until March (similar to Palace’s) so over the next 15-20 GWs four points is absolutely nothing... Will I finally make a good GK transfer? Probably not so I am sorry to all other Ryan owners.

GK:

Ryan (WOL)

Wolves at home is definitely a cleanable fixture they’re a middle of the table attacking side and Brighton should boss possession.

Either way Ryan is capable of save points and bones so I’m just hoping this guy called Mat with one T from Australia can save me from my black hole of GK picks preceding.

DEF:

van Dijk (bou)

VVD just is not a good pick right now because Liverpool isn’t capable of keeping cleans right now. At least he’ll play every match in the pileup and can score a goal vs anyone. Here here to more VVDongs.

Lundstram (nor)

Don’t really expect a clean here and Sheff are in a bit of a rut but Lundy is always capable of an assist or goal and Norwich suck at defending so hoping he finds a return somehow someway.

Söyüncü (avl)

Also don’t really expect a clean here at Villa Park which is always turned the fuck up especially against the flying Leicester side.

That said, Leicester have been easily the best defensive side in the league this season and therefore you start your Leicester guys.

MID:

Alli (BUR)

New bro ready to fuck.

Excited to own Alli who is flying atm. Home Burnley is a decent attacking fixture and Spurs could score ~4 here.

Pulisic (eve)

He passes every test there is stats, expected stats, eye-test, but the points have not followed... Generally that means that the points are coming and away to Everton is a fabulous fixture to break one’s duck. Go on Puli.

Maddison (avl)

So Maddo I guess at this point I’m relatively content to just hold. I don’t fucking know man...

The points will trickle in and Leicester are good and he’s good.

De Bruyne (MUN)

Kev will break outta the funk eventually and even though City aren’t flying atm like they were earlier they will also hit their stride eventually. Maybe putting four passed Burnley was the jumping off point but we’ll see I guess.

Still feel fine with Kev and he will still trickle in points.

FWD:

Kane (BUR)

Probably Kane’s final game in my side. Him out for a hit with this fixture just seemed stupid. Could easily brace even though he’s a donkey piece of shit.

Vardy (avl)

Yeah yeah.

Abraham (eve)

Good to have Tammy back. Fucking ridiculously stupid and annoying that he didn’t price drop by like 0.5 but whatever he’s back in my side and fine.

Great fixture and I always expect him to return against all the minnows.

CAP:

Vardy (avl)

Almost talked myself into going differential cap but honestly my rank is 5 billion so I’m competing with probably lots of teams who are not on Vardy cap so the points are actually significant for me...

Trying to not be a total nightmare idiot and put some respect on my name but that’s probably a joke and I’ll probably see red again.

Hate this game and life.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: TIOCFAIDH ÁRNAUTOVIC

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Tomori, Pope

IN (for -4 points hit): Kelly, Guaita

A -4 this week, my third hit of the season and it doesn’t feel GREAT. If I’m being honest I was drinking and made the moves on a whim when I could have easily rolled this week but hey hits are fun right???

Last weeks nightmare of rico > PVA resulted in net negative points but brought me a lot of joy no longer having Rico AND it just made me even more excited about the perversity of all the Palace D. Unfortunately seems like PVA could be out for a while but I’ll deal with that later, Chelsea cleans look shaky at best and Pope has to go, WOY IN.

GK:

Guaita (wat)

New keeper new life, hoping for 6 points, expecting 2. Maybe 2 bad fixtures until late March? Absurd run… I was raised by protestants so they’ll be extremely happy Pope’s gone.

DEF:

Söyüncü (avl)

Seeing a direct correlation with xUmlaut and xCleans. Love this man and after several benched cleans he’s nailed his way into my team. Decent fixture away villa, a lot of aways for my 11 this week… lets hope my boys are in the mood to travel. I hear Birmingham’s lovely this time of year. 

Alexander-Arnold (bou)

Doesn’t feel great, cleans are a thing of the past around Merseyside but loves to pop up with returns… something tells me this might be the week the clean curse is broken.  Or fucking Solanke will dong idk logic left the rooms weeks ago, but for now Trent stays.

Lundstram (nor)

Sheff D looking slightly concerning recently yet the hero of this season is in my 11 every week and it’ll take a lot for that to change. Pukki will wipe the clean as per but Lundy will do bits, he always does.

Kelly (wat)

PVAs injury means I can’t quite reach the heights of perversity I’m aiming for but double Palace D has the semi ready and rocking. We’re only at half mast today sadly but my body is ready.

MID:

De Bruyne (MUN)

A lot of people dropping Kev right now, seems fine but my gut is telling me hold is the way to go. Money is aplenty anyway with all the budget options flying around he’ll tick. Can see double figures this week, expecting City to demolish United.

Son (BUR)

Son’s always good to me, he always has been and always will.

Playing a bit wider than I’d hope under Mou but I trust the points will come. He’s just good! Alli may be the way to go but feels good having a share of the Spurs mids and I’m pretty confident this a medium term hold at least, unless Mou makes some drastic changes.

Mané (bou)

Lotta games coming up and a massive one for Pool midweek, this is prime time for a rest… but everyone has him anyway so no biggie. Starting but not capping feels the way to go. A 20 minute performance could see a brace with easy against Howe’s boys anyway.

FWD:

Aubameyang (whu)

This was a very knee jerky 3 game punt and I’m lucky he’s done anything for me. Got the extremely lucky brace then a blank. He’s reverse OOP on one of the worst Arsenal sides I’ve ever seen. Any return and I’ll be ecstatic, no clue what could happen in a London derby with W. ham, could be a 1 pointer, could be a hatty – Anyway always good to have a big hitter in the last game, it gives you hope and often there isn’t much else to keep you going.

Ings (new)

This guy…this man has returned every game I’ve owned him. Over 30 points in the last 4 GWs for a budget price. What more can you want? I don’t think he stays for long no way his toothpick bones holds up to the festive fixtures but more than happy to run him out again. Lotta love Danny <3

Vardy (avl)

Does anything need said at all? We live in turbulent times, one thing I can rely on in a Vardy return. No shit will be chatted from myself.  

CAP:

Vardy (avl)

No fucking about this week, double Palace D, Ings, Son and Auba are where I’m looking to gain ground. Going out tonight so I’ll be on the WKD. Ready for the party that never ends.